GUEST BLOG POST
by
Carol Cherry
(parent of current Thames student)
That may not sound like good news to parents—especially those of us with
students who have struggled academically or socially in the years leading up to
college. This article
from collegeparentcentral.com explains
why the first few weeks are so critical to long-term
college success, and describes some steps that you and your student
can take during this period to lay the foundation for a successful college
career. (read more)
The Importance of the First Six Weeks of College
You’ve
survived the college admissions process, orientation, move-in day and now your
college freshman is securely settling in at college. As a college parent,
you are relieved, excited, perhaps a bit sad, and apprehensive all at the
same time. Your college student is about to begin what may be the most
important six weeks of his college career.
The
evidence is mounting, and the information is impressive. What happens
during the first six weeks of college may be important in determining a student’s
ability to persist and graduate. Many students’ college success can be
solidified or thwarted during the first six weeks of freshman year.
Several sources suggest that nearly 40% of students who begin college will not
complete their education, and according to some college experts, more than half
of college students who leave college do so in the first six weeks. “A
freshman’s most critical transition period occurs during the first two to six
weeks.” (Levitz & Noel, 1989)
This
is not necessarily what a new college parent wants to hear – especially if you
have concerns about how your child will adjust to college. But it is
important to remember that the majority of students make the necessary
transition and move on to succeed in school.
Why are these first weeks so
important?
The first six weeks of college
are a crucial time for your student to get acclimated to college and to get
into a groove and feel comfortable in her new environment. She will need
to navigate the transition from high
school to college and find ways to get organized, to meet new people,
toget involved on campus,
to find the support that she needs, to cope with the inevitable stresses of college life,
possibly to deal with homesickness,
and to form new habits and find a new routine for her life. Many colleges
recognize these important transitions and institute programs for the first few
weeks that address these concerns.
As
students attempt to make these necessary transitions, they are faced with some
potentially significant challenges that accompany college life. Students
must form new social networks and often feel pressure to “fit in.” They
must learn to function with more autonomy and independence as they attempt new
and often more difficult schoolwork. Students are often faced with new,
or at least a greater level of, temptations such as alcohol, drugs, and
sex. Time management and self-responsibility are new skills to learn.
What should my college student
do?
Students
who anticipate the challenges of the first few weeks of college will be better
prepared to face them. Students who are prepared to take their
frustrations and turn them into actions will be armed to make the most of their
experiences. Your student might consider several, or all, of the
following suggestions:
·
Pay attention to all of the
communication coming from your school. Colleges will reach out to students, but students
must read e-mails, attend orientation and/or welcome meetings, and act on
information that they are given.
·
Work at establishing a good
relationship with your roommate. A good working/living relationship will not
necessarily happen automatically. Communicate, share expectations, and
show respect. Think about how to be a good roommate yourself.
·
Find a niche in which you feel
comfortable.
This may be a group of students from class, a club, religious or social group,
an athletic team or department. Find your “corner of the campus” in which
you feel most comfortable and cultivate it.
·
Learn as much as you can about
your surroundings – your new home. Spend time wandering campus, exploring a campus
center or the library, checking out the local shops or restaurants. Get
to know what is around you.
·
Investigate all of the support available on campus. Check out tutoring,
your residence assistant, your advisor, the counseling center. Know that
you are not in this alone.
·
Avoid going home. This may be difficult
for some students, but you will not connect to campus and to other students if
you leave at the first chance that you have. There will be time for
visits home and with your high school friends later, but spend the first few weeks
getting to know your school and making new friends.
·
Take a piece of advice from
Eleanor Roosevelt and “do one thing each day that scares you.” Of
course, evaluate the risk and make wise choices, but move out of your comfort
zone and stretch.
What should parents do?
Sometimes
the most difficult thing that parents need to do is to allow their student to
find his own way. The first few weeks of college are one of those times
when you, as a parent, may feel somewhat helpless. Just when you want to
do everything that you can to help your student, you feel you need to hold
back. But there are a few things that you can do that will help you help
your student to make the adjustment that he needs.
·
Insist that she not come home
for the first six weeks.
This may be one of the hardest things to do, but try to encourage your student
to stay on campus and work at creating her new life. Of course, you will
need to use your judgment, and it is certainly appropriate for your student to
come home for a significant family event, but when possible, staying on campus
will help.
·
Listen. This may be the most
important thing that you can do for your student – and potentially one of the
most complex. Listening
well isn’t always easy. Your student may need to vent and share
feelings and concerns. You will want to jump in with advice. That
may be appropriate – or it may be better to just do the listening and ask your
student to find his own answers. He may just need to share and be heard.
·
Connect with your student
through Skype or Facetime if you can. Although texting, e-mails, and phone conversations
are good, seeing each other’s faces may help.
·
If your student is homesick,
and if you are close enough, make a trip and take your student out for
part of a day or for dinner. This will allow you to connect and
see each other, but the student will not be coming home. He will have the
opportunity to show you around his school as he is settling in as well.
·
Encourage your student to try
to get enough rest.
College residence halls are “lively” places, and there may be activity going on
late into the night (or early morning). It may take conscious effort on
your student’s part to be sure to get enough sleep. It is much easier to
manage your life and emotions when you have enough sleep.
The
first six weeks of college are a crucial time for your student. But both
you and your student can take some action to ensure that these are successful
weeks that will lay the foundation for a successful college career.
